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after that therapist (whom i thought was a dear friend and mentor) went full white woman tears on me back in like 2011 or so because i dared to have an opinion of USian culture in academic contrast to caribbean culture, you'd think i would have learned my lesson.

i mean, that came pretty fucking soon after my in-laws showed their entire ass on a public facebook post where i dared to have an opinion on the USian november celebration of genocide. i mean ... if both those dramas didn't teach me, then ... what will?

and that's not to say there weren't several other brushes with white women tears in the intervening years. there were. like the time white women called the military police on me claiming i was throwing rocks at them and their cars. i wasn't. i was removing a hazard from a community space with a certain vehemence borne out of being fucked with.

i should actually write this story out in full because it checks all the boxes:

• white women entitlement
• white women violence
• white men inserting themselves to protect their white wives
• calling law enforcement to do their violent work for them
• mediocre apologetics months and months afterwards from said white women who apparently were told what they'd done. but here's a truncated version to clue you in.

warning: tangent ahead

i called them out on allowing their offspring to leave sidewalk chalk in a communal doorway of a building they didn't live in and in which a new mother did live in. and when they set off on me about dog shit as a comeback (...), i walked away and removed the chalk myself. only to come back ten minutes later to find that the chalk had been placed right back in the middle of the doorway. but those women weren't known to me so that was mostly a laughable experience since the police they called was my husband. the brass opted to throw their complaint in the trash once they heard my story.

but i digress ...

three time's the charm, apparently. this year i've seen more of the same from folks i thought were genuinely trying to do the work.

to say i am disappointed is ... to severely understate things. i mean, sure i'm disappointed. but i am also mad as hell because yet again whiteness chooses its own comfort over and above everything else and ... i dunno ... i am side-eyeing all of you now.

i think a lot of you are about to lose access to me. there is just so much i will take. and yes ... i've been sitting with these feelings for a few months now.

the irony is that i doubt anyone will be able to correctly identify what i'm talking about. it happens that often.

yeah ... after yesterday, i think it's finally time some of you step outside a wall that will protect me from your white woman tears. i'm tired.